Smiling through hunger and hiding money struggles
![8[1].png](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/6fd334_a86f69b7b6924bf0b197bc4dc8a83037~mv2.png/v1/fill/w_141,h_63,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_avif,quality_auto/8%5B1%5D.png)
When Being “Fine” Cost Me Too Much
![6[1].png](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/6fd334_62458262842444ada273cbc3ca42054c~mv2.png/v1/fill/w_176,h_103,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_avif,quality_auto/6%5B1%5D.png)
5 Mins
Tom Reynolds
Edited By:
My Diaries Anonymous: Daniel M., Mechanical Engineering
![4[1].png](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/6fd334_cbe7a05acb674d7bab8687aae00392a6~mv2.png/v1/fill/w_176,h_103,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_avif,quality_auto/4%5B1%5D.png)
People always think the ones who crumble are obvious late to class, hungover, chaotic. Me? I’m the opposite. I’m the “sorted” one, the guy with the polite smile and the neat notes. But behind that, I’ve been living off noodles, stretching coins, telling myself hunger is discipline. I’d rather keep the image of being strong than admit I can’t cover rent and food. So I just smile and say, “I’m fine.”
I once skipped a seminar because my card declined in the café line and I couldn’t face sitting through class with my stomach growling. It sounds dramatic, but the shame of pulling out coins I’d been saving just to pay for tea felt heavier than missing a lecture. I know people think students are broke but “resourceful.” What no one says is how much energy it takes to look fine when you’re budgeting every crumb.
.png)
![7[1].png](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/6fd334_aae074a50b2f40dca48db79870fc0bf1~mv2.png/v1/fill/w_277,h_163,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_avif,quality_auto/7%5B1%5D.png)
Hunger edits personality until you vanish from view
The worst part is that money dictates not just what I can do, but who I can be. When my flatmates spontaneously book tickets to gigs, I make excuses about essays. When they order Domino’s at midnight, I say I’m not hungry. It’s not just food or fun it’s the way poverty quietly edits your whole personality until you’re not the friend who’s “busy,” you’re the friend who’s never really there.
It’s not just that I miss out on things it’s that I miss out on being part of the memories that form who we are. My friends talk about concerts, group chats, jokes I never heard, and I smile like I get it. But I don’t. Poverty doesn’t just change what you can afford it changes how people perceive you, how close they feel to you. And when you’re always the one declining or pretending to be busy, eventually you stop being invited altogether. That’s when it sinks in: you weren’t just left out of the event you were edited out of the friendship.
I know what you mean about money reshaping your whole routine. Last year I skipped every night out because I couldn’t afford Ubers home. What made it lighter was being honest with one mate, and suddenly “cheap pasta nights in” became our thing.
Poverty doesn’t just limit your options it rewrites your personality in silence.
![2[1].png](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/6fd334_adce14e5f8ee48c8ab6271115053de4b~mv2.png/v1/fill/w_200,h_119,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_avif,quality_auto/2%5B1%5D.png)
![3[1].png](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/6fd334_bd02c4fe3feb4cbabbbc937ab700a6cd~mv2.png/v1/fill/w_176,h_103,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_avif,quality_auto/3%5B1%5D.png)
I’m still figuring it out, but I’ve realised budgeting isn’t just about survival it’s also about making space for tiny joys. HAPHE’s way of diversifying what keeps me steady is teaching me not to tie my whole week to whether I can afford one night out.
I used to think managing on my own was strength, like skipping meals or working extra shifts proved I could handle uni life. But I’ve realised it’s not just about grit, it’s about how much of yourself gets swallowed when survival becomes the main story. Reading around, it seems a lot of us get caught in this loop of independence that turns into isolation. And the truth is, it’s harder now than it was for older generations the cost of living, the way everything is on display online, the way you’re expected to “keep up” no matter what. It’s not weakness to admit that the balance is off. It’s reality, and pretending otherwise only digs the hole deeper.
Strength isn’t starving yourself of help it’s letting someone in when money or pride feels heavy.
![9[1].png](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/6fd334_74f6189be9154bfd9dbd16b5c2bc0717~mv2.png/v1/fill/w_157,h_93,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_avif,quality_auto/9%5B1%5D.png)
The HAPHE Institute gathered these accounts not as abstract data but as lived testimonies. What emerged clearly is that students who carry too much of their story alone, without room for balance, are more at risk of spiralling when a single stress point cracks. Earlier generations faced pressures too, but not with the same speed, exposure, or public visibility. The research shows it isn’t just an individual problem it’s systemic. And that’s why prevention, not just crisis response, is so vital.
Some Tips
![14[2].png](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/6fd334_e3f39c89ac98436cb5e8e394ba656148~mv2.png/v1/fill/w_160,h_82,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_avif,quality_auto/14%5B2%5D.png)
1. Try suggesting low-cost hangouts like study sessions or walks it helps keep you connected without putting pressure on your finances.
2. Keep a list of free or discounted events around campus planning ahead can make saying yes feel less stressful.
3. Meal prep with a friend or flatmate sharing the process makes budgeting less isolating and more sustainable.
4. Remember: saying “no” to things you can’t afford doesn’t make you distant it makes you responsible.
Sending you strength, wherever you are. Be kind to yourself. Take care of yourself
.png)
![6[1].png](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/6fd334_16a69f55cb15412d9e515fac21cf52ca~mv2.png)
Tom Reynolds
University of Birmingham, Sociology
This is an anonymous contribution, lightly edited for tone and shared with the writer’s full permission. Names and places have been altered. With 7 in 10 young adults reporting symptoms of burnout, we hope this piece resonates. At HAPHE, we believe in creating foundations strong enough to hold us when life feels unstable. Take a look at the HAPHE Pledge here: