Living only for the CV and career path
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When My Career Was Everything... In A Bad Way.
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5 Mins
Emma Liu
Edited By:
My Diaries Anonymous: Eleanor J., Law
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Everything I do links back to law. The societies I joined, the people I hang out with, even the books on my shelf. It’s all curated for the internship I’m praying lands. But when I got that rejection email last week, it wasn’t just about the job. Suddenly the friends, the clubs, even the reading felt pointless. Like if law crumbles, so does everything else.
Everyone around me talks about “work-life balance,” but I don’t even know what that looks like. If I’m not networking, reading case law, or planning applications, I feel guilty. People think ambition is impressive, but for me it’s suffocating. Every friendship I’ve got feels like it was chosen for utility who they know, where they’re headed and that makes me wonder if I even know how to be myself outside of “future solicitor.”
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Career talk masks silence of forgotten self
Even when I do go out for drinks, I end up steering the conversation back to careers “What firms are you applying to?” “How’s your CV?” as if keeping the spotlight on ambition will make my own anxiety about failure less obvious. It doesn’t. It just makes the silence afterwards ring louder, when I realise I’ve forgotten how to talk about anything else.
I’ve built a whole personality around being put-together, but inside I feel like a house of cards. I don’t know how to let people see the mess without watching everything collapse. So I keep conversations neat, predictable all CVs and career plans and achievements. It’s safer to be impressive than vulnerable. But afterwards, when I walk home in silence, I realise I don’t remember the last time I talked about something real. Something I love. Something that scares me. It’s like I’ve lost the language for who I really am underneath the ambition.
Career tunnel vision nearly broke me. I applied to 18 grad schemes, got rejected from all. What steadied me was joining a volunteering group suddenly I wasn’t just “the applications guy,” I was useful in another way.
Ambition becomes a shield when you’re too afraid to admit you’re overwhelmed.
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I’m still trying to balance it, but I get now that a career isn’t supposed to carry every other part of life. Having more than one pillar means rejection doesn’t flatten everything else.
Ambition gets praised so much that no one really asks what it costs. I used to think career focus was the safe route, but I’ve seen people burn out chasing it. Research even shows how over-investing in one path leaves you more vulnerable when it falls apart. And I feel that. When every friend, society, even your hobbies get linked back to one dream, the rejection doesn’t just take the dream, it takes the scaffolding of your life with it. It’s like tying your whole future to one branch and then watching it snap.
Ambition is healthy but when it swallows every corner, rejection feels like losing your whole self.
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In testimonies gathered by HAPHE, career dreams come up again and again as both motivation and risk. Students who frame their entire identity around one ambition are more vulnerable to collapse when setbacks hit. The research indicates indicates again and again that this over-investment isn’t simply ambition it’s an imbalance. When the future is tied too tightly to one vision, the present loses its grounding, and even minor failures feel like personal devastation. It's over investment because up to 75% or more of their focus, thoughts and activities were towards that social asset. The One
Some Tips
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1. Ask friends about their lives beyond uni and careers it opens up new, more honest conversations.
2. Take pressure off being impressive your worth isn’t tied to productivity or perfect answers.
3. Practice listening without preparing your next “career” answer it builds space for genuine connection.
4. Let yourself enjoy something completely unrelated to your degree joy doesn’t need to be justified.
Take a breath. It’s okay to not have it all figured out. Wishing you the best.
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Emma Liu
Keele University, Psychology
This entry has been published with the writer’s permission and edited lightly for coherence. Names and places have been changed. With burnout impacting so many students, we hope this story offers a pause. HAPHE believes in building wide, so we’re not left holding just one fragile thread. Read the HAPHE Pledge here: