How To Gain Perspective Before You Make Emotional Investments

By Shola Morgan

When we shop online these days, what do most of us do first? We check the reviews. We scroll through, reading all the feedback, both good and bad, before we hit that “buy now” button. But wouldn’t it be nice if we had reviews before we made big emotional investments too? Before connecting with a new friend, a group, or even a career? Unfortunately, life doesn’t come with five-star ratings for every decision we make.

Still, there’s a lesson to be learned here. Just like you wouldn’t buy a product based solely on the company’s shiny advertising, you shouldn’t make emotional decisions—especially big ones—without considering multiple perspectives.

At university, we make connections all the time—friends, study groups, even societies we join. But just like those online purchases, if we jump in without gathering enough information or understanding both sides of the story, we open ourselves up to disappointment and emotional trauma.

1. Why You Need Multiple Perspectives

Let’s say you’re feeling optimistic about joining a new society on campus. The people seem great, the activities look fun, and it just feels like a perfect fit. But have you checked for any "negative reviews"? Is there something about the society’s time commitment that might clash with your study schedule? Or are there tensions in the group you’re unaware of?

By looking at both the positives and the potential downsides, you give yourself a more balanced perspective. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t join—it just means that you’re going in with your eyes open. If something does go wrong down the line, it won’t be as shocking, and you’ll be better prepared to handle it.

2. Acknowledge Your Bias

We all have our biases. When we’re excited about something, we tend to focus on the positives and ignore any red flags. The same goes for when we’re feeling pessimistic—sometimes we can only see the negatives and overlook the good.

At university, this could mean being overly confident about a new friendship or being too quick to dismiss a challenging but rewarding course. The key is to acknowledge those biases. If you’re feeling overly optimistic, take a step back and think about the potential downsides. If you’re feeling pessimistic, force yourself to look for the positives. By balancing your perspective, you’re less likely to experience a jarring emotional shock if things don’t go as planned.

3. Make a Balanced Investment

In life, and especially at university, our emotional investments are like financial investments. Just like you wouldn’t put all your money into one risky stock without doing your research, you shouldn’t pour all your emotional energy into one person, group, or ambition without gathering information.

For example, you might feel tempted to put all your energy into one friendship that seems promising. But without taking the time to get to know the person’s deeper traits, their flaws, or how compatible your lifestyles are, you run the risk of being blindsided if the friendship doesn’t turn out the way you hoped. By diversifying your emotional investments—spreading your time and energy across different friendships, hobbies, and ambitions—you protect yourself from emotional burnout if one connection fails.

4. The Danger of Emotional Shock

Making emotional decisions without fully understanding the consequences can lead to trauma. Imagine choosing a career path based solely on its prestige, without considering whether it truly aligns with your passions. Years down the line, you may find yourself burnt out and disconnected, not because the career is bad, but because you didn’t take the time to assess whether it was right for you.

This is where emotional shock comes in. When you don’t prepare for the possibility of disappointment, the shock of failure or loss can hit much harder. That’s why it’s so important to gather a balanced perspective from the start—so when the unexpected happens, you’re ready for it.

5. Balance Isn’t About Avoiding Risk, It’s About Preparing for It

Here’s the thing: balancing your emotional investments doesn’t mean avoiding risk altogether. Life, university, and relationships are full of risks! But just like you would check the reviews before buying a product online, it’s about going in prepared. If you decide to pursue a challenging career or take a chance on a new friendship, knowing both the upsides and the risks will help you manage your expectations and protect your well-being.

Final Thoughts

At university, you’re constantly making emotional investments—whether it’s in friendships, academic choices, or societies. But just like online shopping, it’s important to do your research. By gathering multiple perspectives and balancing your optimism with a healthy dose of realism, you can protect yourself from emotional trauma. Remember, the goal isn’t to avoid making connections or taking risks but to ensure those connections are built on a solid, well-rounded foundation.

So, before you hit "buy now" on your next emotional decision, take a moment to check the reviews.