Why You Need A New Month's Resolution

By Shola Morgan

I remember this one time at university when I committed to about a dozen societies in one month—debating, drama, football, and the art club. It was like I was trying to diversify my emotional stock portfolio, but instead of feeling like an emotionally fulfilled investor, I was drowning in commitments I wasn’t prepared for. I found myself canceling more plans than I was making. I thought, "Maybe I just need to recalibrate… shift some of these 'investments' around." This is why a new months resolution is important.

It’s not unlike the time I was helping a client as a financial advisor. He had dumped so much of his money into one particular stock—he was certain it was the golden ticket. But then the market shifted, and suddenly, he was left scrambling to figure out how to salvage the rest of his portfolio. I realized then that our emotional lives aren’t all that different from financial ones. Sometimes, we need to reassess our emotional investments and move things around before we’re left with nothing but burnout.

Who Says February Isn’t a New Beginning?

Or March, April, May for that matter? We often feel like we need to wait for January 1st to start fresh, but that’s just not true. Life, and all its challenges, come at you at all times of the year. So why should you wait until next year to make changes?

In my own life, I’ve seen relationships go sour simply because I failed to diversify my emotional investments. It’s like sticking with a bad stock because you’ve already put so much into it. The decision to allocate more time to coffee meetups with Anne, fewer phone calls to Tiana, and a bit more effort in catching up with Chemi, while easing off on choir practice to focus on the drama group, helped me adjust my emotional balance. The same principle applies to you—whether you’re managing your time at university, between friends, or figuring out how to balance your studies and social life.

Tip 1: Make Changes Monthly

We’ve all made New Year’s resolutions and, let’s be honest, we’ve all broken them. Rather than set yourself up for disappointment, try breaking things down into smaller, monthly changes. By setting smaller goals, you're more likely to stick to them. Plus, adjusting your emotional and mental well-being on a monthly basis can prevent the kind of burnout that happens when we ignore our emotional investments.

And here’s the kicker: often, we don’t realize we’ve been over-investing in certain areas until something falls apart. It’s only after the mental trauma hits that we realize the things we’ve been emotionally connected to have shifted, moved on, or—worse—disappeared altogether.

Tip 2: Start with a Well-Being Check

Before you make any changes, start by doing a quick well-being check. Think of it as auditing your social asset portfolio. This includes your friends, acquaintances, ambitions, careers, jobs, and even your Instagram followers (yes, they count too). If you put them all in a basket, that’s your social asset portfolio. Just like with financial investments, you must keep an eye on all the elements in your basket to avoid surprises and emotional trauma. You don’t want to wake up one day and realize you’ve been investing in something that no longer serves your well-being.

Tip 3. Start with an Audit

Take a look at each individual "object" (i.e., person or activity) you’re connected to. Ask yourself, "What part do they play in my life?" and "How do these objects relate to one another?" It’s a good idea to review your emotional investments at the start of each new month. Here’s an example from my own audit last month:

I called Cassie, and we went to the cinema.

I attended my sister’s church event and invested some emotional energy there.

I made it to the gym five times—definitely an emotional win!

I realized I need to take a course to keep up with the latest trends in my field because my job is changing fast.

By reflecting on where I invested my time and emotional energy, I can see what’s working and what needs to shift.

Tip 4: Break Activities Into Bite-Sized Investments

Now, let's get practical. Once you've completed your monthly audit, break down your emotional investments into smaller, weekly goals. This helps avoid the emotional overload that comes with trying to do too much all at once. Think of your emotional energy like currency—every connection you make is a trade-off. There are costs and benefits to every decision, and sometimes those benefits won’t show up until later.

For example, meeting a friend for coffee might feel like a small investment now, but it could pay off emotionally down the line when that friend becomes someone you can lean on during a tough time. On the other hand, maybe it’s time to overhaul some of the connections in your social asset portfolio. Just because something makes you happy today doesn’t mean it’s a sustainable investment for your future emotional health.

Tip 5: Diversify Your Social Assets

Finally, if your audit shows that you’ve been putting all your emotional energy into one person, group, or activity, it might be time to diversify. Just like in financial investing, spreading your emotional energy across different areas will protect you from burning out if one part of your life takes a hit.

Maybe you’ve been spending too much time with someone.