Is The Happily Ever After Story A Trap

By Shola Morgan

Cassidy (real name withheld) bolted through the community center doors. "Guess what?! Guess what?!" he exclaimed, enthusiasm dancing in his bulging brown eyes. His excitement was contagious; he’d just been scouted for a potential boxing career.

At only 17, the future looked as bright as ever for Cassidy, who was always a straight-A student before boxing took over his life.

Behind this excitement stood Mr. Sam McRoy, a small-time boxing promoter who promised Cassidy a world of glamour and success. Over the next decade, Cassidy invested everything into this dream. He dropped out of university to focus on boxing, training endlessly, with the hope that one day the "big fight" would come.

But it never did.

Years passed, and I bumped into Cassidy 12 years later, in a coffee shop. His bright smile still spread across his face as he talked about the same dreams, the same hopes of being scouted for a big fight soon. My heart sank. Behind his enthusiastic grin was a man who had invested everything in one single goal, while the rest of his life, his dreams, his ambitions, lay by the wayside. His brothers had all moved on and found success in other fields, but Cassidy, clinging to his one dream, had nothing else to fall back on.

Five Ways to Diversify Your Dreams and Protect Your Mental Well-being

Cassidy's story isn’t uncommon. It’s a lesson in how dangerous it can be to invest everything into one dream, one goal, or one ambition without having other interests to balance it out. Just like with financial investments, putting all your energy, time, and emotional well-being into one thing can set you up for disappointment and trauma.

Here are five tips to avoid falling into the "Happily Ever After" trap and ensure that your dreams are balanced:

1. Diversify Your Passions

Just like you wouldn’t put all your savings into one risky stock, don’t put all your emotional energy into one dream. Explore multiple interests, hobbies, and career options. Try different electives, join various clubs, and build a portfolio of passions. This way, if one dream falls short, you’ll have other paths to follow, and you won’t feel lost or devastated.

2. Keep Realistic Expectations

Dreams are beautiful, but remember that life is unpredictable. It’s important to acknowledge that things might not always go according to plan. Ground yourself in the reality that achieving one specific goal, like becoming a professional athlete, may not happen. By understanding this, you can balance your hopes with a healthy dose of realism.

3. Stay Connected to Multiple Circles

Don’t isolate yourself in one social circle or community. As you grow, your network should also expand. Stay active with different groups—whether it's study groups, friends from different courses, or clubs. Each circle adds value and gives you perspective. This way, your self-worth and identity aren’t tied to a single group or person.

4. Be Open to Change

Sometimes dreams change, and that’s okay. What you were passionate about at 17 might not hold the same excitement at 25. Embrace the possibility that your ambitions may evolve over time, and be willing to pivot. Be curious about new fields and be open to acquiring new skills or exploring other disciplines.

5. Make Time for Self-Reflection

It’s easy to get caught up in chasing a dream and lose sight of why you’re pursuing it in the first place. Take time to reflect on your progress and ask yourself: “Am I still happy doing this?” or “Is this dream still fulfilling?” Regularly check in with yourself to ensure that you’re not blindly following a path just because you’ve been on it for so long.

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Cassidy’s story teaches us that while dreams are important, they shouldn’t be the only thing we hold onto. By diversifying our passions, keeping realistic expectations, and staying connected to multiple aspects of life, we can build a stronger foundation for our well-being. Life’s twists and turns are inevitable, but with these strategies, we can handle them with grace and avoid the trap of putting all our emotional investments into one uncertain outcome.