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Finding Balance Outside the Lecture Hall: How Community Connection Shaped My University Experience

By Jessica Tidy

university lecture hall

University is often seen as a straightforward journey: attend lectures, complete assignments, earn a degree, and land a career. But after working as a graduate following four years of university study, I’ve realized that the experience is far from a step-by-step process. There are countless side quests along the way, and the true value of university often lies in the unexpected moments and connections you make.


When I first started university, I envisioned it would be a linear path, a series of milestones to tick off on the way to adulthood. It felt like the goal was always to move forward, to accomplish something measurable, and to make the most of every opportunity by keeping my eyes on the prize, graduating with a top grade, and landing a competitive grad scheme.


But the reality turned out to be far different. The so-called ‘side quests’, those spontaneous decisions to join a club, have a deep conversation, or try something entirely new, became

the moments I cherish most today!


It’s More Than Just Academics

woman at library studying

For me, going to university felt like the right thing to do, a way to bridge the gap between school and ‘adulthood,’ even though I wasn’t sure what I wanted my career or adult life to look like. I hoped university would somehow align everything for me and point me toward where I was meant to be.


In reality, it wasn’t solely the academic side of university that guided me. Instead, it was the connections I made, especially in moments when academics felt overwhelming and all-consuming. Working with others, connecting with people from diverse backgrounds, and investing in activities that made me feel empowered played a huge role in keeping me moving forward.


When I first set foot on campus, I felt like I had to prove myself by excelling in every exam, perfecting every assignment, and building an impeccable CV for my future career. The pressure to achieve was relentless, and I constantly found myself thinking, “What’s next?” It felt like my worth crumbled down entirely to the grades I would leave with.


But despite all that effort, something was missing. I was so focused on my future career ambitions that I neglected a key element of living a fulfilling life: variety. That’s when I began

exploring life outside the lecture hall, and discovered the real value of being a university student.


University, I realised, is about more than just grades and graduating. It’s a unique environment for self-discovery, where I had the chance to test my boundaries, explore new ideas, and embrace uncertainty. The friendships I formed, the extracurriculars I participated in, and the challenges I faced all contributed to my personal growth.


These experiences helped me develop qualities, such as resilience, empathy, leadership, and creativity, that no textbook or lecture could teach me. The time I spent outside the classroom shaped who I am just as much as the lessons I learned inside it. It reminded me that success is not measured by a piece of paper or a list of achievements, but by how we grow as individuals and the

impact we have on others.


Changing My Mindset: From Competition to Collaboration

group chatting at coffee shop

At first, I slipped into a competitive mindset, constantly comparing myself to others: Who’s landing the best internships? Who’s getting the highest grades? Who’s best preparing for the

future? This left me feeling isolated and stressed, always striving to outdo others rather than appreciating what I could learn from them.


In connecting with fellow students, I found incredible friendships. We met regularly, exploring the city’s coffee shops while sharing knowledge and preparing for exams. Often, our conversations wandered into topics like life goals, future aspirations, and popular culture. These moments showed me that learning doesn’t have to be a solo mission.


One particularly memorable experience was cramming for a final-year exam with a group of friends in the library. We took turns teaching each other concepts we didn’t fully understand,

laughing at our mistakes, and celebrating small breakthroughs. That night wasn’t just about academic preparation; it was about bonding, trust, and realizing we were all in it together.


We were all striving toward similar goals, each bringing our unique strengths to the table. Together, we created a support network that not only made academics more manageable

but also living away from the people and places we grew up with.


Creating Community With Like-Minded People

university sports team celebrating together

It’s not just the academic connections you make, university offers endless ways to connect with like-minded individuals. Initially, I worried about fitting in. I didn’t drink, and typical bonding activities like pub crawls or parties didn’t appeal to me. For a while I feared I was missing out on the ‘typical’ student experience.


Then I joined a university sports team, a decision that changed everything. This was just one of many societies on offer, but for me, it became a home away from home. The people I met

pushed me to be my best, cheered me on, and accepted me for who I was.


One of my favourite memories was traveling to an inter-university competition. We spent hours on a bus, singing along to cheesy playlists, sharing snacks, and nervously hyping each other up for the upcoming matches. Those moments of camaraderie reminded me that university wasn’t just about personal achievement but about being part of something bigger than myself.


Our shared goal of coming out on top brought us together, but the friendships we formed extended far beyond that. Across different courses, ages, and backgrounds, we built a community that provided laughter, belonging, and purpose. These relationships transcended sport; we found ourselves supporting each other through academic struggles, life decisions, and even personal hardships. The sense of solidarity made all the difference in navigating the ups and downs of university life.


Being part of a group that valued collaboration, effort, and mutual respect helped me understand that community isn’t just about shared interests, it’s about shared experiences,

shared growth, and a collective sense of belonging. It reinforced that the true essence of university lies in how you connect with others and build lasting bonds that enrich your life. The friendships I forged in this community are some of the most meaningful I’ll carry with me long after graduation.


Bursting The Campus Bubble

hand holding bubbles

One of the most eye-opening experiences for me was working part-time alongside my studies. Taking a job at a local coffee shop connected me to the broader community of the city I called home.

At first, it was just a way to earn extra money. But it became so much more. I met people from all walks of life, hearing local stories from regulars, talking about British culture to

adoring tourists, and coworkers who became mentors.


One customer, a retired teacher, became a regular who often shared her life stories and advice during quiet afternoons. Her wisdom about navigating life’s uncertainties left a lasting

impression on me. The coffee shop wasn’t just a workplace; it became a grounding space where I could step away from the pressures of university life and develop a stronger sense

of independence and an identity away from being a student.


This job gave me a fresh perspective on life. It reminded me that the world is much larger than just my academic deadlines and grades. It taught me valuable skills across people management, conflict resolution, and customer engagement—things that my degree alone just couldn’t provide.


Beyond just the practical experience, working outside of the campus bubble gave me a deeper understanding of the city and its people. I began to appreciate how interconnected everything is, and how the world operates beyond the classroom. These experiences helped me develop empathy and a sense of belonging in the larger community, a crucial element of

personal growth that no lecture could teach.


My Final Take-Aways: Seek Out the People and Places That Matter

Looking back I realise that the key to finding balance outside the lecture hall was community connection. Whether it was housemates, classmates, sports teammates, or local

interactions, these connections helped me grow into a well-rounded individual ready to take on life beyond university.


Through extracurricular activities, part-time work, and meaningful relationships, I learned skills that will stay with me for life. The people and places I connected with really have shaped me into who I am today.


It’s easy to get caught up in “what’s next” and miss the joy of the present. University is not all about academic achievement, it’s about the memories and personal growth you create along

the way. The late-night conversations, the shared laughter, the lessons learned outside the classroom, those moments stay with you far longer than any grade ever will.


***

So, to anyone going through the stages of university I would say don’t be afraid to explore life beyond the lecture hall.


Join that society, say yes to new experiences, and seek out the people who will inspire and support you. The connections you make might just become the most valuable part of your university experience. And in the end, it’s these relationships and experiences that will help shape your future, long after the exams are over and the caps and gowns are packed away.


HAPHE is a non-profit charity committed to trauma-induced depression prevention. You can learn more about our cause here. Want to get involved? Why not take part in our Short Film Project or Tell Your Story?



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About HAPHE 

Alarming statistics from the World Health Organization indicate that anxiety and trauma are the primary contributors to the escalating rates of depression in our modern era. HAPHE commissioned research has further unveiled a strong correlation between trauma-induced depression and the prevalence of dependency/addiction-related connection patterns.

By throwing light on and promoting the positive impact of diversified emotional connections, we attack the sharp and rapidly increasing rise in trauma-led depression rates among young people.

What HAPHE Does

At HAPHE, our mission is to provide young individuals with practical tools and techniques that empower them to prevent trauma and its associated challenges. We offer comprehensive resources to help them cultivate healthy connections with their world and the people around them. These connections are built in a manner that not only promotes their overall well-being but has also been proven to reduce the risk of depression, prolonged anxiety, and trauma. We refer to this approach as emotional connection planning.

 

Are you interested in partnering with us to create a trauma-resistant environment and support young people in navigating the stresses and uncertainties of college life? Together, we can guide them, from a young age, in making and building emotional connections in a way that minimizes exposure to trauma and anxiety.

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In today's rapidly evolving landscape, the way we connect with our world has been transformed by the accessibility of media networks, technological advancements, and evolving marketing processes. These connections have emerged as vital triggers for overall well-being, making them of utmost importance in modern history. Furthermore, with a growing population of young individuals and a dynamic job market, the significance of fostering healthy connections becomes even more pronounced.

 

The need for proactive depression prevention planning is paramount as our social culture continues to evolve. It is crucial to strike a balance, acknowledging that deep connections must be regulated in this age while recognizing the fervent desire of marketing agencies and brands to foster such connections. This calls for an intervention—an intervention that can shape the way we navigate and prioritize our connections in a manner that safeguards mental well-being and promotes a healthier social landscape.

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