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Gather around as I take you back through time and space to that bygone era of 2008 or the year the whole world went bananas, and the markets crashed. The Greeks couldn’t afford to retire, there were runs on banks (like It’s a Wonderful Life), and the term too big to fail entered the lexicon.
Why was this year significant beyond the historical context? It marked my university graduation. This wasn’t just any graduation – I was the first in my family to attend university. Coming from a single-parent, working-class background where money was always tight, there was no financial safety net. If funds ran out, it meant
surviving on stale bread for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. University represented not just my chance to improve my life, but an opportunity for my entire family.
There is a grim statistic that those born into poverty often remain in poverty. I carried the hopes and dreams of my family to break free from that cycle. 2008 could have shattered my aspirations for a better future, but instead, it imparted a valuable lesson, one that I cherish and that has shaped the person I am today.
Breaking Free from The Cycle
Returning home, I faced numerous challenges. I spent six months applying for every possible job without hearing back. After being unemployed for the entire period, I swallowed my pride and took a temporary job over Christmas. While it lasted a bit longer than the Christmas period, the retail sector was a backward step. I found solace in knowing my friends were in similar situations, with some even questioning if the three years of study had been worth it.
Although I could empathize with them, deep down I knew that university wasn't just about securing a future; it was about
personal growth. No matter what happened, no one could take away the knowledge and experiences I gained. I did land an office job, but it only lasted a year. I wasn’t kept on because the
financial crisis was hitting hard; being the last one hired meant I was the first to go. I found myself once again applying for jobs anywhere and everywhere without any luck.
Applying for benefits was a humbling experience. It's not that I believe benefits are inherently bad—they exist to support people in difficult times—but the job centre staff seemed to take pleasure in pointing out that despite my efforts to better myself through university, I still ended up on the dole. It's a harsh reminder that people can be quick to kick you when you're down, as if striving for more was a mistake or thinking beyond your station was a fault.
I was pushing too hard to regain a life that I thought I’d been working so hard for, a life that I felt entitled to. My mental health was slowly descending into the toilet. But it had been there before. I had depression as a teenager and strong bouts through
university, if there had been one consistency in my life at that point, it was that my mental health wasn’t the greatest. I had my strategies and techniques to manage it, and that is when I started to realise. The grief and pain were shared across the population, most people were suffering in some form, yet there were those who saw it as the worst experience ever and those, like me, who saw it as just another day, just another hurdle.
Learning to Pause
The experience wasn’t pleasant, but it wasn’t any different from any of the other challenges I’d faced in my life. I’d overcome them, so this wasn’t the end, just a different beginning from the one I had planned in my head. I was also fortunate in a different way, my group of friends, my people, were like me. They were older, most of them teenagers in the 80’s and 90’s. They could remember the last time the world had turned hopeless. The sage bit of advice they imparted taught me to pause:
Don’t fight against the tide, if there are no jobs or opportunities trying to find them is pointless.
Don’t force yourself into a position you don’t want to be in, just because you think that is where you should be.
Do what makes you happy.
Work to live, don’t live to work.
And Didn’t I Live
From 2008 to 2018, I spent every summer at festivals. Music is my life; it’s my background, my soundtrack, and I don’t move without it. I’ve been to over 40 festivals and live events, experiencing more than many see in a lifetime. I partied and lived with friends who helped me grow, practically raising me, and showing me
the world through a different lens. Money was tight because my career hadn’t started, so I volunteered at every event, working part of the festival to enjoy the shows—a worthwhile trade-off!
Reflecting now, I’m glad I never paid for a festival ticket—staff got clean toilets, showers, and cooked meals! As time passed and I continued living my best unconventional, unplanned life, everything fell into place. The economy improved, I started my delayed career, and I bought a house. But these are just things—they don’t bring lasting happiness. They might make you happy for a moment, but then reality sets in. Like when you realize
how much a boiler repair costs, and you can’t call your landlord to fix it because now, you are the landlord.
People make you happy.
Shared experiences make you happy.
Expanding your mind and seeing the world through different eyes makes you happy.
Now that I’m a bit older and we're facing another period of economic struggle, I don't view the situation with sympathy for those experiencing it. You will become more resilient and capable through this adversity. Those who succeed in good times, often
due to timing rather than capability, receive opportunities that weren't available to you.
When hard times come again, they will struggle to cope, complain, and suffer because they've never faced hardship (we treat these people with empathy but accept they can be rather annoying because they don’t realise how easy they had it).
You, having experienced this before, will weather it. It didn't defeat you then, and it won't defeat you now. In the end, everything balances out. You will learn to bend like
a reed, letting uncontrollable events pass over you, and you will emerge unbroken and better for the experience.
So, What Can We Take from This?
Cultivate a Passion
Discover what truly makes you feel alive and make time for it in your life. If you think this passion should come from your career, you might not be looking deeply enough. Work is a necessity, but passion is a choice we make for ourselves. Let work fund your passion!
Be a Leaf on a Tree
Remember, you're part of something bigger. Your contributions are valuable, but being part of a larger ecosystem helps you grow beyond your own limits. Let others help, guide, and teach you. Ask questions, listen, and learn from
them.
Break the Mirror
Focusing solely on yourself and your experiences can lead to misery. While self-reflection is healthy, self-obsession is harmful. You’ll miss out on life and opportunities if you’re always looking at yourself in the mirror.
Embrace Change
The events of 2008 were beyond my control. Resisting change and clinging to my original plans made me miserable, as it did for my friends. When I let go and explored new possibilities, I found fulfilling and enjoyable opportunities—those that made life fun!
Live in the Moment
Have a direction for your life, but don’t plan every step and avoid setting rigid timelines. I wanted to buy a house by 30 but felt like a massive failure when I hadn’t achieved it by my 30th birthday. I bought the house six months later, but I can’t get a redo on my 30th Birthday. Life happens while we’re busy making plans! Living in the moment is where you find the opportunities to think and explore different options.
Audit Happiness
What makes us happy changes, be ready to change with it. At 22 I was raving the night away. At 37 I’m in bed by 10 pm, no one comes between me and a good night’s sleep or my early morning yoga and meditation. 22 me would be disgusted by what we have become, but I’m the adult and it’s for her own good.
Final Take-Away
Only when I let go of what I thought I should be did I become the
person I was meant to be. Now, I am a Senior Leader in the Civil Service at the Department of Work and Pensions, implementing our Data Strategy. I believe data has the power to improve the lives of citizens and design services that support rather
than hinder. While I've cultivated the skills, knowledge, and experience needed for my role, my passion for my work—what gets me out of bed each morning—stems from my beginnings.
I know firsthand how hard it is to start off poor and feel like the system is working against you. Even when you try to change, the world often has other plans, and there will always be those who look down on you for trying. For the next generation who needs the system’s support, I work for them and believe in them. I want them to feel empowered to believe in themselves, navigate their own paths, their own journeys, and find their own happiness.
I still find time for gigs and festivals, because the best way to grow old disgracefully is never to grow up in the first place!
HAPHE is a non-profit charity committed to trauma-induced depression prevention. You can learn more about our cause here. Want to get involved? Why not take part in our Short Film Project or Tell Your Story?
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